How do you deal with your emotions? Are you 'releasing or recycling?' So i just learnt about this concept. When we are dealing with any of our challenges we are either actively releasing our emotions or recycling them. Releasing is when we have dealt with our emotions - actively - and time span is different for us all as we are all different - and then we get to a stage where we release our emotions and we begin to heal. This is when you start to feel ease, peace and calm within and you are actively getting on with your life - no more random tear sessions when hearing that song or seeing that picture. Recycling is the stage where we keep repeating and repeating. We go through the whole 'Why' syndrome and is something i have also done and sometimes i have deliberately allowed myself to stay down this road longer than i should have and i have 'suffered' the consequences and yes suffering is optional - we have within us the ability to switch into the now and be OK only if we give ourselves permission. Many people stay stuck in the recycling stage and so did i - especially in my teens and twenties. I guess it's because it is comforting - as in we get used to our comfort zone and don't want to stretch ourselves but deep inside we know that if we do stretch ourselves we will learn and grow. Releasing one's emotions doesn't happen overnight - especially when it involves the loss of a loved one. We naturally go through phases to understand it all and be OK. Another thing is that many times we - yes females and males - were brought up to just 'deal with it and get over it' yet that same person would be eating their own words (we've all experienced that). Healing begins as soon as we accept that God has something awesome planned for us and that He does not burden our souls more than we can handle and that He already knows we can handle it and He is looking at our response - whether we'll be grateful or ungrateful and how we will react. Healing begins when we understand our emotions and what triggers us and we realise that we have the power to change our state by changing our thoughts as we create our thoughts and we can direct them where we want. Healing begins when we let go and let God. I hope this helps! :)
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...Open your heart and let 'The Light' through. Too many of us are 'suffering' from various challenges (problems/issues). And then we turn to social media for some solace or relief - which can, sometimes, be more detrimental than helpful! 'He said, "I only complain of my suffering and my grief to Allah , and I know from Allah that which you do not know.' [Qur'an; 12:86] partial Suffering is optional - we have the ability to change our state instantaneously. The more we 'think' about these things the more our heart is 'clogged' up with the unnecessary. Energy flows where intention goes. Where is your intention going? Sure enough that is where your energy is flowing and it is either healthy for you or sucking your life away. You don't have to be 'stuck' in that pain no more because challenges have solutions. Too many of us are addicted to drama and get our love and comfort through it. This is victim mentality and self-sabotage. You are better than this and your awesome life awaits you now. Now is the time to let go and let God. Now is the time to open your heart and let The Light through. Now is the time to start creating those positive changes in your life, live upon the deen and prepare for your best akhirah. You were created for excellence and in the best form - so do everything with excellence. God is with you now and as soon as you let go and turn your face to Him (swt) - He (swt) will open your heart, pour light through it and guide you to your destiny. Ready to begin living your awesome life now? "O Allah, I am Your slave and the son of Your male slave and the son of your female slave . My forehead is in Your Hand (i.e. you have control over me) . Your Judgment upon me is assured and Your Decree concerning me is just . I ask You by every Name that You have named Yourself with , revealed in Your Book , taught any one of Your creation or kept unto Yourself in the knowledge of the unseen that is with You , to make the Qur'an the spring of my heart, and the light of my chest, the banisher of my sadness and the reliever of my distress." (Hadith Ahmad) It's time to live a life on purpose with purpose. Take a deep breath in - hold - breathe out - relax and be open to receiving love, duas and light now. Feel that? I hope this helps and let me know in the comments below what resonated with you the most. I don't know if this is what you want right now but I created this audio program with you in mind and right now is the last time to get it at the introductory offer. Click here to read more! A personal reflection... They say that it has to get worse to get better. They were right! March 2010 - April 2014 I still get flashbacks! I go into deep reflection mode and get emotional and teary! I go quiet... I'm teary writing this... Even back then walhamdulilah I still got to do a two week KSC Easter Playscheme through the drama and went London for an evening workshop. Only through God's will and Mercy did I make it through those two weeks in April. God is Great! April 2010 - I thought it was the beginning of 'The End'. April 2014 - Am I still alive? Wow, subhan'Allah - I still pinch me to make sure it's real. God is Great! Everything is not what it always seems - especially on social media. Don't be fooled by my 'khaapiness' on display. There's a reason why I'm still alive and there's a reason why you are alive and reading this. There's a reason why I do the personal and spiritual development work I do today. Everyone is on a journey. This journey is back to God. This moment is all we have. I promised that if I got better through my illness I would make each my moments count. It's not funny being 'alive' and telling your family 'I might die and we need to prepare now' and trying to be ok with it all. It's not funny sitting at hospital alone not taking your family with you so they won't be upset and getting those biopsies and stuff. The Nurse: 'You're a brave girl!' Me in my head: 'It hurts lady - it hurts! I just don't wana show you my tears!' And yes I cried when I left that hospital! It's not funny trying to fake smile at your nieces during the playscheme and lying to them; 'Don't worry - I'm ok - everything is ok!' And they know everything is not ok. It's not funny seeing your Mama trying to be ok as she might lose her youngest and being brave. Everyone is on a journey. I know you have your story too. It's ok if no one gets you - I get that all the time! I'm misunderstood most the times! Remember though Allah has put you here for a reason. Be ok with that and do what you gotta do - even if no one gets you. Coz we're all on a journey and it's all gona end soon. Make the most of yours - make your moments count - as this moment is all we have... I know I don't share this with y'all - but I am today - just so you get a glimpse into my world and maybe it gives you some soul therapy too. Nadia x I talk and post personal and spiritual development stuff for y'all and I actually work on mine daily too - i'm a work in progress just like you :) So in the essence of my daily development I have just accepted the '10 Day Mental Challenge' (whilst reading Tony Robbins book 'Re-Awaken the Giant Within') to be committed to putting myself and keeping myself in a passionately positive state, no matter what happens. This is a 'Mental-Diet-Detox'! Welcome to the Challenge. So, here are 10 steps how we will go on our 'Mental-Detox-Diet'. Ready to accept this challenge? Awesome, keep reading! :) The 10 Steps to a Mental-Detox-Diet: 1. Grab a journal or pen/pencil or your online device - this is going to be our friend for the next 10 days. We will write our thoughts, our challenges and our reflection moments. Write empowering statements for yourself as well as positive 'how-to' questions. 2. Go easy on Social media - OK, so I would say 'Go on a 10 day social media fast' however, we are in this together and I need to use social media for the next 10 days to keep up to date with this post, facebook updates on the pages as well as twitter, linkedin, blogpost and pinterest (yup, i'm everywhere!) and an upcoming eBook. So I need to use social media in the next 10 days. If you want to go on a social media fast then go for it - otherwise minimise your usage and replace it with article or book reading. 3. Grab your mus'haf (copy of the Qur'an) and read, recite, memorise and study the tafsir. Think about it, you're making a head start for Ramadan right now - how awesome is that? :) 4. Read inspirational and motivational articles, books, eBooks - write your reflections and lesson you learn in your journal. This will keep you going for the next 10 days. Better still, start your own online blog and write daily reflection pieces from this challenge. You'll be learning lots yourself and inspiring others too! 5. Watch those thoughts! Monitor them. Control them and yes you can! As soon as you get that depressing thought - snap yourself out of it. There are no excuses here. We have full control over our thoughts - we 'think' we don't. If i ask you now; 'What is your next thought?' What is your answer? Exactly! You didn't have a thought did you? So this is powerful. Control your thoughts! And if you need help then grab an rubber band, wear it on your wrist and every time you get a negative thought snap the rubber band! 6. Move your body! Get up and exercise. Change your state by changing your physiology. When we are confident and optimistic see how are body posture changes. And when we are negative, we slouch, close up, blocking our heart and breathing. Right now sit up or stand up straight, drop your shoulders, back straight, take a deep breath in - hold, breathe out and smile. See? 7. Get involved in a community project or volunteer for an organisation. It'll teach you new skills and you'll be able to use your existing skills. You'll also feel happier by giving and helping others - it really puts our own life into perspective and how blessed we are, subhan'Allah! Help those who need our help insha'Allah. 8. Finish off outstanding project - it will give you a sense of achievement and a clearing to begin new stuff. I'm doing this! Do this now! 9. Speak to yourself lovingly. I mean honestly sometimes we should hear ourselves - would we talk to our best friend like that? No way! We wouldn't have any friends left! Look in the mirror daily for 5 minutes. This may be a challenge at first - but hey we are on a challenge right? Hold your gaze and speak lovingly to yourself. Tell yourself you love you. Tell yourself of your achievements and what you want to achieve. Be grateful for all your blessings and thank God for them. 10. Take a break from friends and family and the phone. No, not the whole 10 days but for 1 hour every single day. Can you tear yourself away from your phone for one hour? Yes you can! Spend this time in reflection. Jot down your thoughts in your journal. Do some dhikr or tasbee and ponder on the creation. Reflect on your life - where you are, where you want to be and how you will get there. If you come up with any challenges in the next 10 days - and you will - so will I, then instead of the usual; 'Why me!' or 'What now' or any other form of negative self-talk, turn it around. Start asking better questions. The better questions you ask the better solutions you'll come up with. So ask; 'What can I learn from this now?' or 'How can I see this differently?' or 'What can I do to make this better?' or 'How can I approach this from a different angle' etc. Try it - it's powerful! That's our step by step plan. Who's going to join me on this challenge now? Let's do this! Comment below and let me know if you are in and if you will be adding any more steps to this and remember to {SHARE the KHAIR} :) Bismillah-ExCel! Salaam WBI'ers! Pray all is well in YOUR world! :) I have a *NEW* workshop announcement for you today. Tomorrow (Thursday 20th Feb 2014) I will be delivering a workshop in Birmingham called; 'It's MY Life! A sister approached me to deliver a workshop for her Qur'an class all about time management and study habits. The major misconception in life is that we don't have enough 'time' and therefore we cannot do all the things we want to and so we need to learn 'time management skills'. It's is not about managing our time as we all have the same 24 hours in the day and we can't really manage time - it has a duty to fulfill and a job to to do - we cannot control it. What we can do it to start creating some positive changes in our life and learn skills to manage our life. Once we learn 'life management' we learn 'time-management'. If you want to make the most of your time and want to fulfill all your dreams yet you keep saying; 'I don't have enough time!' then THIS workshop is for YOU! Alhamdulilah we have a lot of sisters attending tomorrow and the sister host decided to open it up to the local community so everyone can benefit since it is half term holidays. If you are free tomorrow and want to attend then please see details below. This workshop is also available for both genders and if you would like to attend or host it for your organisation, company or business then do email me asap so we can sort out the dates now. Just a little while ago a sister asked me if instead of covering the 'study habits' part we can cover 'work habits' - so insha'Allah this workshop is tailorable for your needs as everyone is on a different level and place in life right now. Anyways, for tomorrow here are the details and please pass them on to someone who may benefit. ~ Date: Thursday 20th Feb 2014 ~ Time: 10-2pm (with breaks) ~ Venue: Bordesley Centre, Bham ~ Tickets: £20 incl workbook ~ Lunch: Bring your own ~ Must be 16+ to attend. ~ No creche! ~ Registration: 9.30am sharp! (Sisters only for tomorrows workshop) I will see you tomorrow if you can make it insha'Allah - if not do make dua for this workshop that Allah puts barakah in it and it is a success. Question: Would YOU like any other workshop? Is there anything specific you want to learn about? Comment below and let me know - i'm all ears! :) I know - easy said than done right? Especially if there are things going on in your world that make you doubt yourself. You know, right now, I may not know exactly your challenges and what stops you from believing in yourself - but I want you to know that I too have moments when I don't believe in myself. I took a break from facebook for a month and in fact i'm due back this week (my 30 day break is almost over) and! after years of being on there and sharing my work I had some people questioning me and my work and (what felt like to me) my abilities. I was already on a downer and it really hurt. I know that you see me as a confident soul and you look up to me - I appreciate that - thank you - but know that if I am confident today it's because of all the challenges I have faced in my four decades on earth and the lessons that I have learned. It's still not easy - especially when you are in the public eye (believe me - i've been in the 'public eye' since childhood - call it the youngest child syndrome!). But I do what I do (this work) and I launched 'We Be Inspired' - an organisation dedicated to Personal development - as I want to share with you not only my journey but also how I have learnt and found ways to help myself and how I can help you insha'Allah. This year - 2014 - there will be many products and services dedicated to helping you live your best life and preparing for your best akhirah insha'Allah. But know that it all starts with you! Honestly. This moment is all we have and I'm not here forever - none of us are - so I want to share with you and teach you all that I have learnt and continue to learn so even if i'm not around (especially my social media breaks) then you will be ok insha'Allah. Listen, the thing is, all of us have our own challenges that we face daily and there really is only so much we can do to help each other at times. You may feel that your loved ones don't hear you out and are not there for you - but honestly they may be facing their own challenges too. I hope the quote above and the following short video inspires you and motivates you to believe in yourself now. And even if after watching this video you still are not sure and question or doubt yourself then know this for a fact that Allah (swt) created you for a reason and a greater purpose than what you think right now. There is a reason why He (swt) specially and specifically created you. He (swt) believes in YOU! Watch this video and know that Allah (Swt) is with you! :) Question: How can I help you this 2014 to live your life purpose? :)
Comment below and let me know so I can create the best products and services for you insha'Allah. Here's from me wishing YOU and your loved ones a blessed 2014! Each moment is our only moment that knows the moment that was, is and will be. And each moment could be our last! God has put us here for a greater purpose - for ourselves (our worship to Him (swt) alone) as well as for the greater good of humanity. Now is all we have! Now is when we live our truest purpose and now is when we make those dreams come real. Enough of just talking and planning. Talking is good. Planning is better. But acting it and making it real is even better! We plan and God is the best of ALL planners. We make the intention, say bismillah and put in 150% of ExCel mode to make it real. We let go of the attachment - of owning the end result. That end result is not in our hands - as God decides whether it shall be. And when God says Be - then it shall be! 'Wait, so what is the point of it all or working hard for it then?' I hear you say. Well, what else are you going to do with your life eh? And anyway Heaven must be won - it's not given to anyone on a silver plate! And all those dreams, wishes, ambitions. hopes you have - well they won't be worth to you if you don't actually get up and make them happen now. Enough of time wasting, wallowing in self-pity, and living in the past. The past has gone - learn the lessons! The future? Well, tomorrow is not here yet - so just make dua that when it does come by then it is a blessed one. This moment? Now? Well, that's all YOU and I have! So, make the intention now - yes right now - that you're going to create positive changes in your life, live your best life helping humanity and prepare for you best akhirah now. It is now or never. There's a reason why YOU are reading this! I don't know your life story - but I know that we are connected - and I know that God wants you to read this right now as YOU have something great to create with your life. Are YOU ready to cease this year with your mind, body and soul? With blood, sweat and tears? Then welcome aboard 2014. May God grant you success and happiness in all areas of your life! Onwards and Upwards! Comment below and let me know if you're on this now, OK? :) Ps - We Be Inspired - One Life, One Chance, One Vision - live it now! :) ...One of the hardest things for any human being is to admit they are wrong! We rather spend our lives justifying why something happened, how it could have been avoided, oh and wait for it - the big one, why it's someone else's fault! There's many reasons why we don't want to acknowledge that the fault may be totally and completely ours. One word..... EGO!!! In one of my coaching sessions with my client I was told how one of her employees turned and twisted everything around - everything she had said - and then blamed it back on her! Even after she had explained what she was saying her employee refused to listen. This cost her a lot for her business - time, money, energy, valuable business contacts! Have any of you had that happen in a business capacity? What about your personal life? Misconceptions? Misunderstandings? Especially when you know someone for such a long time and you have been friends or work colleagues and then all of a sudden everything ends. How many times have we messed our lives up because we 'refused' to listen to the explanation or insisted that it was the other persons fault? And the emotional pain that comes with such situations - Ya Allah - it really does mess us up! The employee used what we call 'Victim Mentality' and then made out to be the innocent victim who always gets 'hurt' and get this that same employee had a pattern of similar behaviour in all areas of their life! I previously wrote an in-depth article on this whole topic called; 'I'm a Victim - Get ME out of HERE! Do have a read of it insha'Allah We need to learn emotional intelligence. Seriously! It's not about IQ anymore or what top university you studied at or company you worked for but it's about being emotionally aware and having emotional intelligence - knowing our emotions and dealing with them effectively. I will be teaching a Masterclass on this subject in my Success Club and I hope you can join me insha'Allah (details coming up soon). One of the ways to become emotionally aware or have greater awareness about our life and purpose is to know our Creator. "And be not like those who forsook Allah, so He made them forsake their own souls: these it is that are the transgressors." {Surah Al Hashr 59:19} (partial). If we spend our time getting to know our Creator by reading and studying the Qur'an, studying ahaadith and learning the meanings of Allah's names and attributes then we achieve a greater awareness about ourself and it stops us wasting time on petty stuff and in fact it helps us to understand why certain things happened or happen in our lives and how to heal our wounds. Of course this doesn't happen overnight. It's a process. So right now give yourselves the permission to understand your live events and your purpose of creation and to take a step towards healing your wounds - and before you say it - YES it CAN be done! Many have done it before us and are living abundant lives. And when we do take this step then all the jealousy, envy, hatred and diseases of the heart will be rectified insha'Allah. Abu Hamzah Anas bin Malik (may God be pleased with him), who was the servant of the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) reported that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “None of you truly believes (in Allah and in His religion) until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself” [Bukhari and Muslim] Again this really is a process and sometimes it comes with maturity but if you are reading this right now then you have no excuse to ignore it but to go deep within yourself and start to make those positive changes now insha'Allah. You and I are students of life and we are a work in progress - so let's work this. And anyway if you are someone who is prone to 'It's not me it's you' then seriously you'll only attract the same like-minded people and miss out on all the good opportunities in life and create a bad record of yourself wherever you go - and I know that you don't want that for yourself. So let's fix up before we get fixed up! * Action Points & Tips: 1. Grab your journal or notebook, set aside 30 minuets for self-reflection and reflect! 2. Write down what it is that is hurting you - is it being neglected, ignored, rejected (this one is my issue - and sometimes it can still bring me down - but alhamdulilah I've learned a lot in the past 3 years). 3. What situation caused this to happen - i.e. someone you loved ignored you etc. 4. Take a deep breath and release and then let them go - accept it happened, it's done, lessons learned, time to live in the now (this may be hard at first - but as I said it's a process so start now insha'Allah). 5. Need professional help? Then it is available! Have some maturity please to help yourself - we know from the ayah of the Qur'an that Allah will not change a condition of a people until they don't change it within themselves. You have an opportunity right now to help yourself heal and live a good life that you were created to live. What are you waiting for? We need to become a productive Ummah and learn maturity. Our pious predecessors achieved so much with so little and here we are today that we can't even help ourselves - when in reality we can. Ask yourself; 'Am I happy like this?' Now say bismillah and get working on yourself insha'Allah. I would love to hear your thoughts on this. Have you experienced someone who is always the victim of everyone's behaviour? Are you the 'everyone always blames me' type or are you someone who has been both? Let me know insha'Allah. Comment below and share this post :) [Pssst - I've been both types in my life!!!] Love, love and love! It seems everyone is into love. Wants to be loved. Is in love. Is complete and fulfilled by love. Is broken by love. Is confused by love. And wants to be loved again. Me too! I’m all about love! Ok, well it’s not 14th February (Valentino’s Day – as I like to call it) and maybe I should save this post for then (I’ll repost it then!) but I really want to get into this topic today as it’s not just a Valentino’s day thing but an everyday thing. And in fact love is not actually or just about Valentino’s day – that’s just some crazy commercialised holiday – as are so many other holidays. Today I’m not here to talk about love as in spoucy type or when you get married etc, but I’m going to talk about everyday love, eternal love, internal love and that love that is simmering within us 24/7. This love is beyond marriage or children. It is much, much more. It’s basic stuff really. And in fact, it is practiced by each of us daily – albeit unconsciously at times. And you know what – this love is pure. It’s like the baby love – you know when a baby just wants to be loved by its parent and isn’t aware of anything other than pure mummy/daddy love. I want to talk to you about this love today – which is deep within us – because this love can actually make us or break us. And it does daily – depending on how we use it. And, no, it’s got nothing to do with the opposite gender at all! Confused? Keep reading. This post is about love in the context of personal and spiritual development of the individual. According to Maslow love and belonging are third on the level of human needs (after physiological and safety needs are fulfilled). Humans need to love and be loved and this need is particularly strong in childhood and any deficiency in it can affect us in our adult life. And any deficiency in adult life can lead to loneliness, anxiety and depression. God created us social being and to be part of a social network. The Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) teaches us many different aspects of our social life – how to interact and deal in different social settings and to create successful social spheres. Here’s the thing. This is all awesome and brilliant – and I totally agree with it. However, our childhood conditioning can lead us to seek love and focus on it more than doing anything else in life. What I mean by this is – and I speak from personal experience and in fact it is something I have to also work on a lot in my life – we always want to seek approval from those who we love when we want to take a step into whatever it is we want to do. This form of approval can be from anyone really. Mostly it is family. However if we have had childhood family issues then we seek it elsewhere. Some reading this may disagree – but in my personal coaching and mentoring capacity and getting to know many people from across the globe I have noticed that we tend to seek approval even if it is from our boss and even if we act all ‘nothing hurts me – business is business!’. Deep down inside we have a craving – we need to fulfill it – we need to belong! We are seeking love and trying to fill the ‘void’ within us. Now when we seek constant approval from those we love and we don’t get it we start to self-sabotage our own dreams and life. We don’t even realize that we do it – it seems so normal. I want you to focus back on you today. I want you to start loving yourself today. I always say love and respect yourself if you want to be loved! Love doesn’t cost a thing! You don’t have to go out there and purchase a magic pill to love yourself. It’s free! And think about it for a moment – the love that you’re craving – whoever you’re craving it from – they are also craving it too! Did you even know that? Like wow! So, I mean, here we are being selfish and wanting to be loved yet how much do we love the one we want to be loved by? Unconditionally? This is no manipulation game! This is no; ‘If you love me and I will love you’ or ‘If you’re there for me I will be there for you’. No! This is the pure love that comes from within. It’s natural. You just love – because you do. No expectations. Read that again. NO EXPECTATAIONS. The reason we are stuck where we are is because we are yearning to be loved and accepted and we want to hear it in words or feel it with love or tangible objects. But that is not necessary at all. Yes, it’s part of it. But not the main part. You know I have a very close relationship with my parents and siblings since childhood. Whenever anyone asked me; ‘Do you love Abu more or Ami more’ I used to get confused and say both. ‘No, you have to choose one’, they used to say. And me? I used to start crying! As I got older things changed. Life changed. Its’ supposed to – it’s natural! And all I ever wanted was to ‘feel’ that love as I felt it as a child. Every time I asked my parents; ‘What shall I study/work/do?’ they always replied with; ‘Do what you want and feel happy with!’. Ok, which kid does not want to hear this and do what they feel, right? But me? I thought they didn’t love me anymore. I thought they were too busy for me. But they weren’t. They were always there for me – but had a different way of expressing it. You know if my parents never said; ‘Do what you want and feel happy with’ then today I wouldn’t be who I am – at all! Honestly! But the crazy part is – I stopped loving myself! I hated ME! My own soul! Like, what?! Yes, I hated me – because I thought the ones I loved didn’t love me! You feel me on this? Ah man! How wrong was I?! And because of this, I didn’t take the steps I needed to in life. I was never confident. Actually, everyone thought I was confident. But I wasn’t! I faked it. There – I confessed! (But, it worked!). It’s like I had to start from square one and love myself again. Love myself enough to believe in me. Love myself enough to love others without attachment. They pure type – for the sake of Allah type. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “None of you truly believes (in Allah and in His religion) until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself” [Bukhari and Muslim] It doesn’t cost anything to love your sister and brother in Islam or humanity. How could we want bad things to happen to them? We don’t wish bad on ourselves. If we follow this Hadith correctly then there would be no hatred in the world and we wouldn’t need to search for love here and there and we wouldn’t have attachment issues. And in fact the only one we need to be attached to and ask of is our creator – our Allah. “And yet there are some people, who replace Allah with rivals, loving them as Allah is loved. But the believers love Allah more intensely” (Surah Al-Baqarah 2:165) When you develop deep love for Allah then you will love everyone unconditionally and you will be good to them and wish good for them without attachments. You won’t need to worry about attachments or fall into them. You will see that your family mean well and your siblings mean well. You will see that those around you mean well. Obviously I’m not talking about someone who has taken your rights off you and has deliberately hurt you physically or emotionally or those oppressive tyrants across the globe. I’m praying that my tribe of followers have more knowledge and wisdom to think I’m condoning all that! But what I am trying to say is that we need to move away from; ‘Oh I was attached again and he/she hurt me again’. That is victim mentality – and no one wants to be there. The only one allowing yourself to fall into that trap is you. You’re scared of being alone, rejected, not wanted. I know! I’ve been exactly there! Understand who YOU are! Understand why YOU feel the need to be loved and then fall into this scenario. Mine was straight up – I was looking for that ‘support’ from my parents and when I didn’t get it (or understand their way of giving it) I looked elsewhere! Wrong move! Now – it’s all good. Now I understand. Now I know that everyone who comes into my life is for a reason. Allah has sent them for a reason. And if they have to go – Allah said so! You don’t become bitter. You don’t hate. You just…be. Love doesn’t cost a thing! You don’t have to be selfish with it. You don’t have to ‘astagferullah’ about it. It is who we are and there’s plenty to go around the world. Allah is the one we need to turn to at each point. He (swt) is the one who helps us, guides us and heals us. Don’t hate any one. Everyone is on their journey. You’re not the only one in this world and the world doesn’t owe you anything. When you realise this you can actually start to heal your wounds. You can close previous chapters. You can forgive and leave them to God and move on. You are much stronger than you’re giving yourself credit. And this is not the time and place to be getting all humble and modest. Think about it – others have moved on and getting on in life – so what about you? Get to know yourself again. Get to know God again. This is deep stuff – I know – it doesn’t happen overnight, but it’s a start right? Once you become aware of this and focus on the purpose why Allah created you and how limited your life truly is then you won’t waste it. Attachments are all about a need which was not fulfilled and most likely from childhood. Seriously. Think about it and dig deep. Where in your life does this issue come up and with whom? I’m not talking about today – trust me – I’ve given you a direct example of my own life. Once you realise this – work on it and understand the context then you’ll be able to move forward. When it happened with me I went through this process also - with Allah. I talked to Him (swt) and asked Him to show me the way. You need to do this for yourself and do it now. If not you’ll always be stuck. You’ll misunderstand love. Love is an emotion deep within. Allah put it there. Don’t fight it! Don’t be bitter against love. That’s wrong. Will you hate everyone and everthing? That’s what we end up doing really! And if it does go down the haraam road then trust me it’s something you need to look into your life. Wait till Allah makes it halaal for you! Why is it that we become so attached to s/he and our parents become our enemies? Where is this coming up in your life? Work on it and heal it. Maybe you’ve never seen it this way before. I hope it truly helps. As even when you’re married your love for Allah will be more – as you know that He is the one who gives and takes and He is our Creator. He (swt) is not here to hurt us. We hurt ourselves. Love yourself again if you want others to love you. Love Allah even more and watch the doors of goodness He (swt) opens up for you. There are numerous verses in the Qur’an about love – and I could just quote them. All things start with us – even going to brush our teeth! If you want to make the most of this one life Allah has given you then now is the time. I invite you to a world of love and happiness – which is already awaiting you now. Action Points: 1. Reflect on your life and your relationships – where can you improve and what needs to be resolved. Get on to it. 2. Learn about Allah and our purpose. Learn about RasoolAllah and his mission. 3. What do you want from your life now and whose approval are you waiting for? Be real – to yourself – and now you know what steps to take insha’Allah. Leave me a comment and let me know what you thought about this article. ...Today I was going to give up and quit it all - all of it! I cried - a lot. Sometimes it gets really overwhelming and just too much for one soul. I made a dua in the early hours and asked Allah to show me the way. I've never been more serious about quitting than today. Today is also the Day of Arafah. Millions of people are right now on the plains of Arafah begging for Allah's mercy and forgiveness. A day when many are guaranteed salvation from the Hell-Fire and those who return from Hajj return as a new born - sinless - a Hajj Mabroor. I remember it clearly - like it was just today. It was 5th March 2001 - I was on the plains of Arafah with my parents and millions of other Hujjaj. A childhood dream come true and one of the youngest from my clan to do my Hajj. I was just 20 years old (actually, two weeks after I returned I was to turn 21 and I was in my final semester of my final year of my law degree at University). So many dreams in the eyes of a young 20 year old. I'm childhood ambitious. I have grand dreams. Not just for myself though - i'm not that selfish. I have grand dreams for our Ummah and for the entire humanity. I have grand dreams which involve YOU - yes YOU reading this now. I want to see YOU succeed in all areas of your life - in this world and the next. I walk the talk and expect 150% ExCel Mode from myself. That is what I operate at. You might say i'm too harsh on myself - or that I expect too much of myself. You're right - I do! I only have one life here - just one chance to work for that one vision Jannah al-Firdaus. It all starts here though - right here - in my front room, by the fire. It all starts in this world. How else will you and I achieve our ultimate vision of Jannah al-Firdaus if we don't work it here. Jannah has to be won - it won't be given to us on a plate. On a day like Arafah when gazillions are begging for Allah's mercy and forgiveness - here I was ready to quit - today 2013. I'm extremely sensitive. Only my very close souls know this. Everyone else see's the confident me. But my close one's know how deep I am and how sensitive I am and how I take things to heart. I don't cry in front of anyone - not my family, not my friends. Just with Allah - and Mano (my cat). I'm not overly emotional - like I don't burst out crying if you don't like me. Not me! I may have my shy and sensitive girly side - but i'm very much tom-boyish also. I have zero-tolerance on women and men who just cry over tiny things! I'm the; 'Yes we can! Let's do it now' type. So, for me to even be sharing a piece of my heart with the entire universe is deep. This is the vulnerable me - one which you might not see again - or might see on a very rare occasion - like today. I'm willing to give you a glimpse into my heart and soul - and be vulnerable like this whilst I have tears in my eyes. I share with you as you may be going through your own journey, trying to find who you are and what you want to be or supposed to be doing. You may feel lost and confused. You're trying and trying and yet nothing is working. No one is supporting you - like you thought they would! Just like me you may be ready to give up. I went to sleep crying with my dua of guidance. And then I woke up to a message from a sister who made dua for me and said; "...jazakAllahu khair for your posts they really are inspiring and I just wanted to say never give up what your doing mashaAllah. May Allah grant you a long and productive life sis and remove all your sins ameen. Don't let others negativity affect you. I know its hard but you touch more hearts than u know inshaAllah. Allah chose u for this - I don't see anyone else doing what u do and that is your calling so keep close to Allah and don't get knocked backed wen the road is so tough. Ur work is inspiring and an encouragement to others". I think I'm gona cry again! This one message has taught me so much instantaneously and touched my core. And the weird part is that this sister had no idea what i was feeling. She is someone i met a year ago and we have the usual facebook and whatsapp contact. This was deep. Read her message again - it's from me to you now. I'm ready to redirect my intention and focus. I'm here til Allah decides my time is up. For now - i'm staying :) Bismillah-ExCel! |
AuthorNadia Leona Yunis Archive
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